Have you ever noticed your heart rate rising in the middle of a conversation with a co-worker, boss, or family member? We hear people saying things like , "It just made my blood boil!" or, "I could feel the tightness in my chest as he was talking."
What is it triggering in you?
How can you be less reactive and more responsive?
I have a theory about triggers and I think it'll actually make you like them more. Your triggers are the very thing that get you to pay attention. So the problem is not really the trigger, but rather your response to the trigger. Your response is always a habit; it could be the habit of lashing out, stress eating or taking a smoking break. You name it? The trigger itself is your finger-snap to wake you up from living in status quo, numbing out those uncomfortable emotions. The stimulus of getting triggered actually provides you with great opportunity.
In my Vital Mindset Cycle Vs. Unhealthy Mindset cycle models you'll see that once you are practicing a mindset cycle that actually works for you, all your needs get met despite the crazy circumstances of your life and you can actually sustain living a healthy productive life.
How can it be that magical? Because you finally have a system that is reliable instead of getting thrown off track. Your habits, self esteem, beliefs and values are in alignment with your thinking.
This system provides you with a deep sense of certainty and joy. When you have a healthy mindset practice that meets your needs today you are much more apt to sustaining the behaviors.
So, how do you do that?
First be grateful for the trigger. Next, make the trigger be your catalyst for positive change.
Here's a story about one of my amazing clients. Lisa lives with a deep seeded feeling of …”I am not enough”. She was raised by a Father who loved her deeply, but had his own belief of what a woman should look like. He imposed his belief on his daughter that she must be thin to be acceptable. Albeit she was loved and cared for, she was also raised in an environment of scrutiny. Are you really going to eat that? Have you exercised today? Did you bring home an A?
Her Father believed he was saving his daughter from a life of criticism by helping her to be the best she could be, but in actuality, he was raising her in criticism. So, self-criticism became her subconscious operating system.
Lisa has really striven in her life. She has accomplishments galore, but underneath, she lives with that sinking feeling. She finds herself anxious trying to achieve everything she can just to prove that feeling wrong. She is also highly resistant to exercise, almost to spite or rebel against her Father (even though she's an adult). It's as if she can hear his words in the back of her head.
Lisa goes on diet after diet. It starts with good intention but all the while signaling the belief that she is not enough. So of course, she sabotages herself and feels like she's on a hamster wheel, never getting anywhere. Truthfully she often feels like giving up on living healthy and puts her goals at the bottom of the list, all the while dreaming about her high school sized jeans.
Lisa, has an unmet need. Her unconscious is begging her to pay attention to herself. But, until she proclaims her worth in her body, the negative mindset cycle will continue to make her habits erratic and inconsistent.
. Follow clockwise...
Now here’s an important piece to this that we must address...
Blaming Dad is not productive. Instead, she can transform her reason for being overweight (Dad's fault) to her reason for living with forgiveness and joy (personal responsibility). From never feeling like enough no matter what she did, to proclaiming her self-value and sharing her vulnerability to strengthen the relationships around her. Lisa's struggle can become her life purpose!
I believe God works in mysterious ways. Do you?
Lisa now has an invitation to learn what it means to already be enough…as she is. This sets Lisa up to shed the weight of the world she's been carrying and release the emotional baggage from her body.
As Lisa shifts the basis of her self criticism, every step of the cycle becomes healthier and knowing what the steps are, Lisa is empowered to live a life in her full potential.
Lisa signals “I am choosing to be enough”
1. Trigger: When she is triggered by external stimuli, she responds rather than reacts. “I am aware and see it as an opportunity to reinforce my belief.”
2. Habit: Lisa uses regular walks on the beach as her method for keeping her mental state clear.
3. Gratification. Lisa feels a deep sense of gratification. She’s not exercising to lose weight, she’s exercising to take care of herself. Big difference.
4. Credit: Lisa credits herself for making the effort to live in a healthy mindset. She's now adding to her self-value.
5. Belief: Lisa experiences a sense of positive control. She feels she is designing her life in a body she can love.
I invite you to see yourself in the mindset cycles. Are you in the healthy one, or the unhealthy one? Share your feedback with us in the comments or on any of our social media pages.
1: What do you get triggered by? ____________________________________________
2: What is the habit you do once you've been triggered?_________________________
3: Do you feel a sense of temporary gratification?_______________________________
4: Do you find yourself giving the credit to the habit for making you feel better?________________________________________________________________________
5: What is the belief you've created regarding the need for the habit? ________________________________________________________________________
6: What could be the unconscious emotional need that is not being met; the unmet need that is underneath the framework of your habits?_____________________________________________________________________________
Please share this vital insight with a friend that is struggling. Let them know you are supporting their needs.
Want to take your growth to the next level? De'Anna Nunez can facilitate your personal growth through her private programs designed specifically for you and your goals. Or, to stay in the know with her free events and webinars on Mindset Health, input your information here and receive her FREE Unshakable Mindset Guide.
De'Anna Nunez is an Author, Speaker & Mindset Trainer that focuses on Heart Centered Peak Performance. She is the CEO of Vitalmind Inc, and the Founder of her wildly popular Mind Body Fit Club. De'Anna helps potential leaders develop their full purpose.
Authored by De'Anna Nunez, Author of Burn Your Fat Pants, the #1 Best Seller Selling with Synchroncity and the soon to be released Burn Your Fat Pants & Your Skinny Jeans Too